Osasuna fans would have biblical hair growth if they followed United fan's vow
A look at La Liga clubs through the lens of a Man United fan's viral hair growth promise reveals Osasuna supporters would be sporting 8-year manes.
Imagine not having a haircut since 2016. That’s the reality Osasuna supporters would face if they copied Manchester United fan Frank Ilett’s viral promise to avoid the barber until his team wins five consecutive matches.
The Osasuna hair nightmare
The Pamplona club sits rock bottom of a rather unusual La Liga table - the one measuring how long fans would go without a trim if they followed Ilett’s pledge. An Osasuna supporter making the same commitment would be sporting nearly eight years of hair growth, with their last five-game winning streak coming way back in June 2016.
That run occurred during their Segunda División promotion campaign under Enrique Martín Monreal, featuring a squad that included current Arsenal star Mikel Merino, Roberto Torres, veteran striker Nino, and David García. Their five consecutive wins stretched from matchday 42 (a 5-0 thrashing of Oviedo) through to their promotion playoff final second leg against Girona.
Despite returning to Primera, reaching a Copa del Rey final, and cycling through numerous players and managers since then, Los Rojillos haven’t managed to string together five wins on the bounce in any competition. Poor Patxi Puñal would have locks that would make 80s hair metal bands blush!
Barcelona and Madrid fans keeping it trim
At the opposite end of this fictional table, Barcelona supporters can proudly sport fresh cuts. Hansi Flick’s men are currently enjoying six straight victories, and before their January 18th defeat to Real Sociedad, they’d reeled off eleven consecutive wins.
Real Madrid fans can also visit the barber without shame, having notched five straight wins between matchday 16 (2-1 at Alavés) and the Spanish Super Cup semi-final against Atlético Madrid (2-1 in Jeddah) on January 8th.
The Elche enigma
Elche supporters would be in a right two and eight with their barnets too. Their last five-game winning streak came in the 2017-18 season when they were still in Segunda B (the third tier). That run occurred during their promotion playoffs under Pacheta, featuring victories against Murcia and Sporting Gijón B, plus a crucial first-leg win against Villarreal B.
Traditional powers feeling the strain
Sevilla and Valencia fans would also be sporting considerable mops. The Mestalla faithful haven’t celebrated five consecutive wins since December 2021, while Sevilla supporters have been waiting since April of the same year.
This admittedly silly exercise actually reveals quite a bit about the current state of Spanish football clubs. For some supporters, following Ilett’s example would mean trading their football scarves for hair scrunchies - and in Osasuna’s case, possibly a pair of scissors on standby for whenever that elusive winning streak finally arrives.